Last Wednesday I shared a post for all the ladies out there about what NOT to do in a dating relationship. The basic gist for women was–don’t be a creeper. Guys don’t like stalkers.
Today, however, I’m turning the table and writing for the fellas. Today is How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days.Guys, want to know how to win a girl over on a date? Or how to be successful and pin down a second date? I thought so.
Women are complicated, I admit, but if you avoid these dating no-nos, then you might be more successful in the dating department. Ladies, you weigh in, too, please. Help give the guys direction and pointers. The more advice the merrier. So here is what not to do…
1. Forget her name. If you meet a girl you think is attractive, ask her name and remember it. Write it down if you need to. When you see her again, use her name casually. She will think you’ve been thinking about her (which might be true). She will feel special. You win.
2. Invite her to a beer drinking/sporting event. Some girls dig beer guts and linebackers, but most do not. Not to mention, a first date or first hang out is much more appealing when draft beer and wings aren’t involved. Shoot for romantic, not elementary.
3. Don’t plan. Just like a sports bar first date won’t get you far, neither will a lack of planning. Women really like a guy to take charge. Sound cliche? It is, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Guys, plan a nice date. Then do it again. Then do it again. Repeat.
4. Ask for her number, then forget to call. When you finally do call, the window of opportunity has closed. Girls care and want to feel special (see #1). If you say you’ll call, then don’t be a jack@$$. Call her. If you never intend on calling, don’t ask for her number.
5. Stare at other chicks while out on a date. This should be a no-brainer, but guys just seem unable to help themselves sometimes. Sit so you are only facing your date if you need to. Sheesh. Boobs aren’t that great.
6. Don’t pick up the check or ask her to split it. I know, we are in 2010, not 1953, but for the love, buy a girl a movie and dinner. She will like it and notice, trust me. Chivalry goes a long way.
7. Don’t open her door, or walk her to her door, or wait until she is inside. Seeing a theme here? Again, be chivalrous. Girl want to be made to feel like girls, not like your bros.
8. Be a big pig. Listen, if you are a Slobby McSlobberson, she won’t be impressed. Put on a clean shirt. Pick up your apartment. For the love–brush your teeth. She is most likely looking for a future husband, not a boy she’ll need to clean up after.
9. Never ever show your sensitive side. You don’t need to pop in a Lifetime movie and start weeping, but do show your softer side from time to time. She will appreciate it and you’ll score major points.
10. Don’t listen to her. Being distracted in a conversation with a woman is an all around no-no. Women just want to be heard, too. You don’t need to fix her problem, just listen.
11. Be needy, really needy. Ladies don’t like needy. They like confident (not arrogant). Secure (not self-serving). A needy guy is a major turnoff.
12. Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. If you are two different people around her and your friends, she won’t be sticking around for long. If you can’t be the same sweet, caring guy in front of your dudes as you are with her, you should ask yourself why. She will, if you don’t.
13. Live with mom and dad. Joey, a MR reader and all around cool guy, mentioned this one on last week’s post in regards to chicks. Of course, the stereotype applies to men mainly. If you are in mom and dad’s basement, it screams creepy underachiever. Move out first, then ask a girl on a date. Not the other way around.
14. Keep your cell phone out at all times. This applies to ladies, too. If you can’t get through a date without checking your phone 18 times, then maybe you should date your phone. Seriously. This applies also to any geekery–video games, computer games, other geeky things that I don’t know about. Don’t make her compete with your electronics.
15. Come on way too strong. Nothin’ says unattractive like an overly-in-your-business dude. Yes, women want you to call them and remember their name. They do not, however, want to be stalked. Show interest, just not creepiness.
16. Talk about your ex. No one wants to hear about Amber, your beautiful neighbor who reminded you of Joey (a la Katie Holmes) on Dawson’s Creek. Get over it.
17. Tell her she reminds you of her mom. Sayonara dude.
Okay gentleman, now you hopefully have some ideas as to what works with the ladies and what doesn’t. Most of these seem to be common sense, but you’d be surprised how many men fail miserably in the area of dating. No go out and conquer and by conquer, I don’t mean what you think I mean–I mean find a date. Have fun. Be sure to tell me if any of these tips were successful.
What would you add to the list? Guys are you guilty of any of these? Ladies, have you ever had guys commit any of these dating sins?