“Keeping Up With The Kardashians” Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Keeping Up With the Kardashians has been on television since 2007, but I haven’t seen a single episode. I’ll try to break it down for you anyway …

Keeping Up With the Kardashians has been on television since 2007, but I haven't seen a single episode. I'll try to break it down for you anyway ...

E!

A reality TV show that follows this lady’s booty … and anyone related to it … ?

So, obviously, this is Kim Kardashian. She is famous, but I don’t know why.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

She doesn’t seem to know either. Did she win X Factor or something?

She has two sisters. They share DNA and a very talented hair-stylist.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

They have matching eyebrows and cleavage. #family

This is Khloe. She must be the oldest because she’s the tallest.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

She doesn’t seem to know what she’s doing here either, but her contouring is perfection.

And this is the youngest, Kourtney (?) She is tiny and often pregnant.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Apparently she married into royalty.

This is her baby daddy. He’s a lord or a duke or something.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Which is how they have so much money.

There’s a possibility that Kourtney is having all those babies so that the family has unlimited access to organs…

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

At least she’s being glamorous about it.

In case one of them needs a liver transplant.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

But I’m no doctor. Let’s move on to the rest of the cast, I mean family.

Anyway, the three Kardashian gals were raised by this fun-loving lesbian couple …

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

I think one of them used to be a high-powered lawyer.

Who truly care about their daughters’ well-being…

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

#momoftheyear

And aren’t afraid to show it.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

In their own special way, clearly.

Oh, and there are these two!

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Kylie and Kylie Jenner?

I can’t figure out if they are A.) Kim’s daughters from a high school pregnancy or B.) the Kardashians’ charity project, like a Big Brothers/Big Sisters Foundation thing.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Kim is their role model.

Either way, they seem … nice.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

We see the twins get into all sorts of age-appropriate shenanigans, like auditioning for the school play and choosing a prom dress.

So, yeah. That’s everyone on the show.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Give or take a few kids and Kanye, who refuses to be appear on the series. [I have no proof of this.]

Some people think the Kardashians got famous for “doing nothing.”

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

B’scuse me?

But this family let cameras follow them around …

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Cameras that zoom in way too close sometimes.

And it seems like their normalcy is quite enchanting.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

This GIF actually makes me want to start watching.

It is a reality show, afterall, full of realness.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Judgement so real, it’s like getting judged by your own mom!

Plus, let’s face it, the Kardashians rule cable TV because they ask the tough questions …

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

I have so many thoughts, Kim. Thank you for asking.

Like when is it appropriate to take a selfie?

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

#momoftheyear #bonding #kitchenselfie

And has our obsession with the Internet gone too far?

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Woah, talk about a cliffhanger! #jailselfie

The Kardashians explore what it means to be a person …

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

A person holding a freaking adorable kitten.

And what it means to be a family.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

With boundary issues.

Along the way, they teach audiences a life lesson or two …

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Like that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and/or plastic surgeon.

Giving viewers a glimpse into the complexities of the human condition.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

Nine seasons, infinite #wordstoliveby.

And us? Well, we just have to keep up.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Explained By Someone Who Has Never Seen It
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