I love Facebook for so very many reasons, but one of my favorites is that FB makes it easier to flirt with members of the opposite sex. I find it especially useful for the times when I meet a cute/smart/nice guy, but then due to outside factors, we don’t do the number exchange. These outside factors can include:
He has a friend that likes me
I met him when I am with my overly protective guy friends and he isn’t sure if I’m single
He has no balls
OR he is friends with my ex
Although these obstacles may seem damning, I refuse to allow them to mean that I can’t hang out with a guy I actually like. (I mean, really, how often do I actually meet a cool guy?) So for the situations when I feel like the guy is interested in me and yet didn’t ask for my number, I turn to trusty Facebook for the solution. I won’t lie to you, I have had mixed results with this plan, but my most recent Facebook flirtation was successful. I took what worked this time, and combined it with what hasn’t worked in the past, and created a step by step on how to hit on someone via Facebook. Here’s what I recommend:
1. Wait an appropriate amount of time before making a Facebook friend request – Do it too quickly and you are creepy, but wait too long and the friend request seems out of context. I usually wait about 24 hours to make the ask.
2. Don’t add a message to your friend request – I’ve found that every variation of “add a message” tends to hurt your cause. Try something overtly flirty and you may look a little desperate/creepy. Try and downplay the fact that you are asking to be friends and you may be telling the guy that you aren’t actually interested in hanging out. There will be plenty of time for interaction once you become Facebook friends. No need to rush it.
3. Let him initiate contact first – You’ve already put yourself out there with the request, so at this point you should just wait for him to initiate a conversation. If he has any interest at all, he’ll probably comment on your status or write on your wall. Bonus points if what he writes about is something you were talking about when you met.
4. Respond – I mean, duh, right? But make sure that anything he does on your Facebook page, you respond to so that he is encouraged to talk to you again.
5. Avoid commenting/liking all over his wall – Sure you are excited and he is probably doing very interesting things, but well timed interactions are key here. It’s all about avoiding coming off as a stalker or overly eager. In my most recent success, the only thing I did other than responding to his wall post, was tagging him in a photo a week after we met. The key is to remind him you are still there without being obnoxious.
6. Take your flirting offline ASAP – This Facebook friendship is useless if you don’t act quickly. I only waited about two weeks before sending a message asking when we were hanging out. I went balls to the walls on this one and even added a winky face, but I’ll leave it up to you on whether you think emoticons are appropriate for this delicate situation.
7. Keep your eye on the prize – When the guy wrote me back on Saturday afternoon asking me what I was doing for the rest of the weekend, I was tempted to respond right away. (Helloooo weekend is almost over. I can’t afford to wait!) But then I remembered this is more of a long-term plan. So I waited a good hour and a half before writing him back. If that means we can’t hang out tonight, so be it.
8. Be semi-available – Not saying you should just sit on Facebook for the rest of your life, but if you do happen to be online then you may be able to shift the conversation to Facebook chat. That is precisely what happened to me this weekend. The guy FB chatted me, we discussed our plans and exchanged numbers. When he texted me later I couldn’t help but pat myself on the back. It took me two weeks, but we are officially connected offline.
Now in all honestly, I have no idea if it will go anywhere at all with this guy, seeing as how he is so tight with my pesky ex. (I am hopeful though, since he Facebook chatted me again this morning!) But regardless, this has helped me refine my Facebook flirtation skills and it has given me hope that I may just have my first crush in a very long while. I can only hope the above steps will help you too.