Elegance is not the the prerogative of those who have just escaped from adolescence, but of those who have already taken possession of their future. – Coco Chanel
Keep Ending Up Single?
I decided to post this article after a several conversations with girlfriends this week about how frustrated they were that they couldn’t find a good guy. I was stunned. Not that I don’t love them dearly but good guys want good girls. That means not behaving like you’re on an episode of Girls Gone Bad. So here is a list of some nasty habits to kick in order to find your white knight.
1. Tasteless Photos
Yes, you are incredibly beautiful but showing half naked photos of yourself isn’t going to attract what you are looking for. You will get attention, but when the right guy comes around- bam. He sees that and immediately doesn’t respect you. Think about it- If a girl is already getting mass male attention there is so much competition that over the course of a relationship he may feel as if you will cheat, or even worse- feel he’s not good enough. So let’s keep the bikini shoots to a minimum.
2. Squeaky Voice
I know this one seems REALLY weird but I swear it’s true! So many girls talk in this super high pitched whiny voice. If you do this.. STOP IT. Men find it annoying. But good news, lowering your voice and talking slower increases your sex appeal along with your ability to be taken seriously.
3. Promiscuous Behavior
Choose you’re late night encounters wisely. Sometimes fun isn’t worth the reputation. You may believe that you are keeping it low key- but truth is men and women talk-alot. You can build a reputation for being easy or slut very quickly. I know it may not seem fair that men can do it and women can’t but let’s think about this. Do you really want to be with a guy thats been with dozens of women? That just seems like a clear indication that he doesn’t get emotionally involved or simply doesn’t respect women. Not to mention you the diseases.. you never know. EW. So let’s just flip that around. Good guys don’t want to have to worry about where you have been, or if you respect your body. You are a gorgeous woman, know you deserve better the next time captain douche tries to take you home from the bar.
4. Halloween Everyday
No need to dress like a nun, but casual wear shouldn’t include 3 inch mini skirts and crop tops with plunging neck lines.. Even with a Victoria Secret model body this may look hot as hell wearing this everyday doesn’t exactly say “Im Marriage Material.” My mother gave me an awesome rule when I first started high school and it has served me well through the years – “Choose one tight and one loose- tight tops, loose bottoms- tight bottoms, loose tops.” Try It.
4. Eating Like A Bear
You are out to dinner at a nice restaurant, then you begin to shovel your food in with giant bites. This is not attractive. Men do like a woman who can eat, that doesn’t mean they like one who eats that food in a disgusting manner. Eat slowly, take small bites and use the back of your fork along with your knife. This is a great way to eat so that you can easily respond to questions and engage in great conversations without fear of having food in your teeth. And this should go without saying, but always swallow your food before speaking!
5. Mean Girl
This one seems obvious, but it’s amazing just how mean pretty girls can be. This sucks. Beauty doesn’t give you the right to treat anyone or anything badly. Be nice to everyone, you never know who they might be or what they are going through. Being nice not only makes you more attractive but helps to attract nice men. Men you can have a real future with. Men who will treat you with the same respect and sweetness you give to them. Mean girls tend to have bad relationships and even if they can find a good guy they end up losing them. No one want s to be with someone that is going to make them feel bad about themselves. So smile a little ladies- and drop the attitude and don’t be afraid to give him a compliment for a change! I can guarantee he will adore you for it!
6. Passive Aggressive
This success behind any good relationship is communicating with one another. This is a great skill set to have! Women tend to be big fans of the “passive aggressive” approach. This isn’t good for any type of relationship. It can be tough opening up to someone and letting them know what you are feeling, but it’s worth setting aside the fear and talking it out. This does not mean yelling at someone and throwing things around. That just makes you hostile and can be taken as “crazy girl” behavior. Instead, when something happens, take a deep breath and try and talk it out. Chances are something just got misunderstood and can be cleared up easily. You ability to communicate with your partner and friends only has benefit and you’re a big girl.
It’s great to have expectations of men, it means you value yourself. Whats not great is when a guy does something nice for you and you don’t say thankful. I’ve met a few women in my time that have literally said they didn’t like the gift he bought her and was mad about it! Good heavens ladies.. effort is effort. No one is a mind reader, and the fact is if someone is trying to do something to make you happy you should be grateful or at least say thank you. You want to inspire men to do nice things for you, not discourage them and build resentment. This kind of behavior will only lead to the destruction of a relationship.
8. Party Girl
Newsflash ladies.. good guys don’t want the girl thats passed out drunk on the club couch without shoes on. That is the exact opposite of what good guys want. It’s not that going out can’t be fun or that you can’t meet a great guy going out.. we all need to blow off some steam every once in awhile. But don’t be a liability. Have a few drinks and dance a little then head home. If you are going out every night of the week I strongly suggest cutting that down.
..seriously that can’t be good for you.
9. “Valley Girl”
This is not clueless. Saying like every other word isn’t going to land you the dream guy- only make you sound un intelligent. I know it’s tough, I suffered breaking this bad habit myself. But you don’t need the word, it’s just filler and you are smarter than that.
10. Temper Tantrums
Temper tantrums are for children- not ladies. Crying hysterically over spilled milk and throwing things around like a hurricane isn’t cute. I know we tend to do this when we can’t find something to wear, but let’s keep that private. Crying hysterically over not getting what you want is going to send the white knight running.. and ruin your mascara.
11. Superiority Complex
Pretty girls seem to cross that fine line between feminism and rudeness. You may be successful, brilliant, and beautiful – a true total package. This package will send everyone running if you treat everyone like you are better than them, Especially men. This goes for women who also pretend to know more than they do.. You know who you are. Think before you speak, Know that it’s okay not to know everything. Better to ask someone what they are talking about and give an opinion that to talk nonsense and be left defending yourself on something that isn’t true. It really is okay to ask if you don’t know., he will find it endearing. As for you brilliant women out there.. be nice. He likes and respects you, no need to rub it in his face.
12. Crazy Nails
Seriously, how do you get anything done with super long razor sharp nails? I am not sure how this trend began but it’s scary. It’s great to experiment with colors and textures but really long fake ones or worse long and sharp are simply terrifying. They scream ” I’m a crazy girl” .. loudly. If you are looking for a nice, good guy- ditch these things. They don’t add to your motif the way you might think. Opt for a normal length and style. Don’t be afraid to be yourself but keep in mind what kind of message they are sending.
Bonus Habit # 13. Bad Listener
We can be little chatterboxes when we get excited. I know it’s tough but we need to get better at listening! How can we expect to keep anyone -let alone a man- engaged in a one way conversation? So slow down, ask a question, engage in a two way conversation. Men have lots to say if we only let them speak. This includes keeping the phone chatter to a minimum. It’s rude to be on your phone while someone is talking. If you are on your phone because they are boring – then get out of there! If you do like them, pay attention. Listen. Engage. Talk. Doing anything other than this will lead to no second date.
These are just my favorite 13 bad habits that women do and can be easily changed. If you have any more that you think should be a must change- post them! I encourage women to be the best versions of themselves, so that means pointing out some of the things that need to be changed in order to achieve greatness.
Don’t Be Afraid To Be Beautiful